Clarity in Confusion

*Daily Prompt 

It was the late 90s, San Diego, at a little cafe called Espresso Roma.

Planted in my usual reading spot, Philosophy books and notes were stacked in front of me and a hot mocha cooled off to my right.  I interrupted the study session to ask my friend and fellow philosophy major: “Don’t you sometimes wish you didn’t know what you know?  It was so much easier when I didn’t think about these things or even know these things were questions.”

Literature in philosophy involves taking one’s mind on a trek outside of the ordinary.  We read arguments for Free Will only to be followed by equally compelling arguments that there is no Free Will.  What constitutes truth?  How do we know when we know something especially when everything we think we know could be debunked in 50 years as we have debunked “truths” previously believed?  What makes knowledge knowledge?  Reviewing logic supporting the existence of God, and then arguments systematically dismantling that logic also threw my Catholic school upbringing into a menacing tailspin. And what in the world is a “Right”?  Do we always protect the individual, or do we always protect the greatest number sometimes at the sacrifice of an individual?

Facepalm. Facepalm.  More facepalm.

Philosophy compels one to ask questions where one didn’t even realize a question existed.  An intellectually secure footing in the world seemed impossible.  Yet, despite this, I couldn’t help but entrench myself further into the study and devour the arguments. This everything-but-clarity feeling hit me when I took a moment at the cafe to stop memorizing information for an upcoming exam and paused to churn over the ideas I had been studying.  Everything made sense and nothing made sense.

“I’m confused,” I said.

My friend, understanding the look of mental turmoil splashed across my face, smiled and said, “Ah, yes.  But now you are confused at a higher level.”

*Tell us about a time you’d been trying to solve a knotty problem — maybe it was an interpersonal problem, a life problem, a big ol’ problem — and you had a moment of clarity when the solution appeared to you, as though you were struck by lightening.

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  1. Daniel Ionson

    You always bring up the most trivial of topics. (I hope the sarcasm can be heard through my keystrokes 3K miles away.)

    I can honestly say without hyperbole that Phi is that thing which I built my life around, which destroyed my life, and around which I restructured it.

    In the 90’s I had gone to a Christian university to become an apologist, and from those studies had deconverted myself, (thus the devastation). After a decade in the dirt, I rebuilt my life and remain dedicated to it, for the pursuit of the truth is still the only thing that ultimately matters.

    (That, and getting published.)

    Daniel (the expurgated version)

    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Ha! Your first line made me laugh. And I agree, the pursuit of truth is what makes life interesting…published works are the bonus. Good luck!

  2. Aussa Lorens

    Haha– I was a philosophy major for my first couple years in college. I was a shiny little star in those classes until it hit me that I didn’t care about any of it, not really. Naturally, I dropped out of college, traveled, and found some things to care about, ha.

    1. Daniel Ionson

      You forgot, “…and have been wreaking havoc on everything ever since.”

      1. Aussa Lorens

        Hahaha yesssss… maybe if I had stayed that course I would live in my own Non Event Sphere…

      2. Daniel Ionson

        and we all know how much fun that is…

    2. unsolicitedtidbits

      You have this in common with Woody Allen and Steve Martin 🙂 Thank you for reading.

  3. Martha Kennedy

    I used to spend a lot of time at Espresso Roma. Possibly we saw each other when time and space converged but awareness didn’t. I was the woman with curly magenta hair drinking a latte made expertly by the barista guy who’d gone to Brazil, come back and repainted the place. There was a baguette with pesto that made a good lunch. Not very philosophical, I’m afraid… But in that place a friend and I discussed something essential to all philosophy; the question of what is real…

  4. Conversations With The Moon

    “Proving” yet again that ignorance, is indeed…bliss. But I’m with you; my concept of bliss lies in the journey and not the answer…well done.

    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Thank you. Yes, the journey is the key. Your comment reminds me of a famous quote by the philosopher John Stuart Mill: “It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.”

  5. Daily Prompt: Moment of Clarity | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

    […] Clarity in Confusion | unsolicitedtidbits […]

  6. Knotty problems | A mom's blog

    […] Clarity in Confusion | unsolicitedtidbits […]

  7. geralynwichers

    Isn’t it weird (or maybe it isn’t) how going to school can send your life and your knowledge into a tailspin? Bible College did that for me. I hit a point of despair in which I felt I could believe nothing and no one (the whole equally compelling arguments thing). In some ways I never recovered, but in some ways I pulled out of the tailspin with a stronger faith. Maybe some things just needed stripping off…
    Hmm… You have inspired me.

    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Thank you. I like your perspective. I think it’s important to examine our beliefs and become aware of our assumptions. The by-product of the examination can be a process of strengthening beliefs or re-shifting one’s views. It’s a confusing and daunting task, but it’s also what makes us human.

  8. hairballexpress

    Greetings Furless One. Here’s the plain truth…. ● kats exist. ● kats are adorable.
    ● kats are fun and intelligent ●kats are affectionate…● kats are always hungry ● kats love those who feed them
    ● you need a kat. The end. ♥

    Shrimp

  9. broadsideblog

    I loved studying philosophy in college. I only took one class, a survey course, but loved the notion that how we view the world (duh) is mutable and we have multiple options. It was brain-bendingly difficult stuff but that’s the whole point of college, no?

    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Indeed!