ProfDolske

On Things Best Left Unsaid

  1. “I read 50 Shades of Gray. It was interesting.” Right.  I was enjoying my meal but now…
  2. Adding “for your age” to any sentence.  A swing and a miss in the compliment arena.
  3. “Hold on.  I need to take a selfie.”  Selfies are never needed.
  4. After a meal: “Oh God I’m so full.” A simple “Loved the meal” will suffice.  How you stuffed yourself to discomfort can remain a secret.
  5. “You look tired.”  Gee, thanks.  I didn’t realize.  Now I’ll go about my day as normally as possible.
  6. When giving a present: “It was on sale.”  Pat yourself on the back for the bargain instead of announcing it.
  7. When receiving a present: “Is there a gift receipt?”  Woe is the gift giver in this situation!
  8. “I need more fiber in my diet.”  Eww.
  9. “Do you want your upper lip waxed?”  This should never be offered.  Ever. End of story.
  10. “He dies in the end.”  Oh come on!
  11. When reflecting on college: “I didn’t have to take out any loans.”  Congratulations on your economic platform.
  12. After someone mentions what they are currently reading: “Pff!  I read that in high school.”  We’re adults.  Reading is not a competition.
  13. “Totes. Amaze. Cray cray!” Let’s stick to English (or to not speaking).

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Comments (

19

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  1. Martha Kennedy

    I read a lot of books in high school. Even with the same authors, same titles, same pages and same content they weren’t the same books 10 years later. The Old Man and the Sea tops that list. If a 9th grade GETS that book, he or she is to be pitied…

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Oh how I’d love to meet the 9th grader who gets The Old Man and the Sea. He/she ought to be studied.

      Reply
  2. Daniel Ionson

    #9– Makes me stabby.

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Ha! Watch out!

      Reply
      1. iwannabealady

        #9 I’m not the only one, Eh? Had a situation awhile back and blogged about it. Someone almost had a very bad day and it wasn’t me!

        Movember for the ladies.

  3. dixieminor

    I agree with all of these! 🙂

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Thanks 🙂 I was in a cheeky mood when I put the list together.

      Reply
  4. geralynwichers

    Other ideas:
    “The weather is miserable!” (No, you’re miserable. Weather has no feelings)
    “Oh you’re a writer? I’ve been thinking about writing a book.” (Like I’ve been thinking about brain surgery?)
    “I don’t have time.” (Sleep less and stop watching TV)

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      These are fantastic!

      Reply
    2. iwannabealady

      Yes, Yes, and YES

      Reply
      1. unsolicitedtidbits

        A good one! Weather comments are so banal, yes? Thank you.

  5. girlychristina

    LOL to Number 1…50 shades of grey…bleh!

    Reply
  6. nofriendasloyal

    I really enjoy your blog! I’d like to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger award (:

    Versatile Blogger Award

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Thank you 🙂

      Reply
  7. On Things Best Left Unsaid | Cool lady blog

    […] On Things Best Left Unsaid. […]

    Reply
  8. coolperson1

    Reblogged this on Cool lady blog and commented:
    Very much worth reading

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Thank you for the reblog!

      Reply
  9. Annie Chace

    Reblogged this on Parrots, Prose, and Poetry and commented:
    Too funny!

    Reply
    1. unsolicitedtidbits

      Thanks, Annie!

      Reply